The Mob Boss Thrill Killer had a problem. Several of them in fact - and two in particular.
In what must have been a weak moment on his part, he had presented each of his two favorite models with credit cards each having a $25,000 limit ...
Which each of the ladies had proceeded to max out in something under thirty minutes.

If that weren't bad enough, Sol Weiner, the fellow running Snuff-O-Rama Motion Pictures, a video producer in which The Boss had made a substantial investment, had called saying that he had what seemed to be a damn-near impossible request from one of their major distributors.

His weary feet took him to his habitual watering hole at Aunt Chilada's Amazon Cantina,
where he found himself seeking the advice and asisstance of none other than the proprietress herself ...

"So the girls put you fifty G's in hock, did they?" Chilada responded to his complaint.
"That may be a tad excessive, Thriller, my dear ... But have you been out shopping for groceries lately?"

He then got down to and explained the crux of the matter ...

"You got two girls you want shot in the navel? Hell! That's well-nigh impossible! Don't those clients of yours know anything?
Why don't you talk your producer into having you let them have with a knife?
What the Hell? You could handle that problem yourself!"

The Boss went on to explain that it was to be bullets or nothing ...

"So! You feel that they won't listen to reason? So! Okay!
There's only one individual I can think of who might be able to bring off shot like that!

"La Gringa! But I hesitant to send you to her, Thriller! This woman is dangerous even without a gun in her hand!

Nonetheless the interview was set up. Thrill Killer arrived early for his appointment with the assassin know to him only as La Gringa.

"I'll be with you in a minute, Mister!"
There came a female voice in response to the scuffling sounds he made as he approached the sound of other pleading female voices.

The pleading voices came to an abrupt end in an ensuing round of gunfire ...

"There! I just had a few loose ends to attend to!"

The Boss regarded the bullet-riddled bodies of three young women somewhat dubiously ...

"Don't worry about them! I'll staighten up around here later!
Aunt Chill called and told me you were coming, but she didn't clue me in to what it is you want!
Now then ... What can I do you for?"

Thrill Killer hastened to explain his situation ...
La Gringa did not interrupt but when he told her what he wanted, she set about presenting the bare facts as she saw them ...

"Mister, in case you people haven't quite realized it yet,
this is the age of automatic weapons where the shooter "sprays and prays" that he, she or it hits somewhere near the targeted area!"

"I remember the time..." La Gringa went on to say, "When my client specified in my contract that I 'Shoot her tits off!'"

"And the sad fact of the matter is that I failed!
It wouldn't have been so bad except that he refused to pay my fee!
At least not all of it!
And as a matter of pride and principle, I had to go along with him!"

"So the next time I got some flakey request like putting a bullet through the woman's nipple ..."

"You can just bet that I wasn't taking any unnecessary chances and I let her have it point blank!"

"So you see Mister, if it were left up to me ..."

"I'd simply hand each of the contestants a gun, and let them blaze away at each other, and let the bodies fall where they may!"

"I guess that would make life simpler for the producer,
but his landlord complained earlier about the bullet holes in the walls from all the stray lead that was flying around ..."

"I can see how that could be the case, Mister!
And you see what I mean about the likihood of either babe being lucky enough to plug the other in the navel!
So if you can't have the girls engage in a free-for-all shootout, then the next best bet would be ..."

... To step right up and blast her right in the chest!
It's clean, neat, straightforward, and, by golly, it just doesn't get much better than that!"

"I can see that you love your work, and you are really very persuasive ...
But I know that the guy at Snuff-O-Rama has got his heart set on doing this navel shooting caper for an important customer!"

"Well, Mister! I hate to admit it ... but it's too much for me!
Oh, I might get lucky and nail one or the other of them ...
But twice! And virtually simultaneously? That's too much to ask for!
But now ... Wait a minute!
It just came to me!"

"Howie Glotz!
Now why didn't I think of him before?
Mister, this guy may look like an over-anxious nerd ...
But he is responsible for all those technological gimcracks that Agent 007 has used in the last four James Bond pictures!
If he can't come up with something for you then no one can!
But he will!
Oh, yes!
He will all right!"

Fortified by the assurances of La Gringa, Thrill Killer visited the munitions specialist in his workshop where he explained the situation once again.
Glotz was nothing if not attentive and he assured the Boss that what he wanted could be done - perhaps not easily - but it could be done ...
And if he would return the following Monday, then would show him what he had come up with ...

"Do you mean to tell me that this is it? Belly rings?" The Boss was incredulous.

"Oh! But these are very special belly rings, if I may say so!" Howie protested modestly.
I'll explain it all to you when we are together at the motion picture studio!"

"Do you mean to say that you have to be on-site in order these gizmos to work?"

"I have to be if you expect them to function properly!"

"Let me give Sol Weiner a call amd we'll have to see ..." Thrill Killer sighed as he fished his cell phone from inside his jacket pocket.

And so that is how the Boss and Howie Glotz found themselves on hand to witness the making of yet another Snuff-O-Rama Motion Picture Production.

"All right now!"
The two actresses were ready, the lighting had been tested, the video camera was recording, and Sol Weiner was shouting orders.

"Let's have it Quiet On the Set!
Now then ... Lights! Camera! And ... Action!"

"Now as I began to explain the other day," Howie whispered. "Each of these rings are quite unique!
"Each one contains a minute amount of plastic explosive and a radio-controlled detonator!"

"Now as you can see, Delphine has turned to fire!
And when she does, I press the button on this device I have here ..."

"And a radio frequency is transmitted that will activate the detonator in her ..."
"But wait a minute!" The Boss interupted Howie who was on the verge of waxing rhapsodic.
"I don't see a sign of her belly ring!"

"The producer objected to the decoration so I removed the ornaments ...
Never fear however, the device retaining the explosive is so small that it fits internally ..."

"I sure hope this works!" The Boss muttered dubiously.

"Oh, it will!" Howie assured him. "Just you watch!"

The Boss did watch as Casandra's body appeared to be jolted under the impact of the bullet from Delphine's gun.

"And so you see what happened when I pressed Casandra's button?" Howie was all but beside himself in his enthusiasm.

"And now it's Delphine's turn to take one from my Belly Blaster!"

"Is that what you call it, Howie? A belly blaster?"

"That's what I'm gonna call it just as soon as can get a patent for it!"

"And ... Well ..."

"And well what, Howie?"

"As soon as I can get a one or two bugs worked out of them ..."

"Bugs, Howie?
Bugs such as what?"

"Well, you see both girls are doing a fine job of reacting to the intense pain that is coursing through their bellies ..."

"I'll agree with that ... But what ..?"

"But there's one thing I kind of forgot about ..."

"You forgot something, Howie?"

"Well you see, Boss ..."

"I had to put these things together in kind of a hurry ..."

"And I had a lot of other things on my mind ..."

"And I kind of lost sight of the fact that this invention of mine ..."

"... was really nothing more than a miniaturized blood squib!"

"And I completely forgot about ..."

"... putting any stage blood in the capsules!"

"YOU WHAT?!"

"So you see ..." Howie went on more or less unperturbed.

"I'm wondering where all that fake blood is coming from?"

"FAKE Blood?"

"Hey guys!"

"Keep it down over there - will ya!"

"I got a video I'm trying to shoot here!"

"SOL!"

"Oh! What the Hell!"

"What is it?"

I think we may have a problem!"

"Problem?"

"We got no problems!"

"We don't have a worry in the world!"

"The girls have never put this kind of effort into their Dyin' Swan Acts!"

"I'm tellin' ya ..."

"This video is gonna sell like hot cakes!"

"Sol!"

"Shut Up!"

"And Listen!"

"Who the Hell'er you tellin' to shut up?"

"If I could leave this camera ..."

"... I'd toss ya both the hell outta here!"

"But I'm not missin' shots like these for nothing nor nobody!"

"You wanna talk to me?"

"Then drag your sorry asses over here and talk!"

"And it's lucky for you that I ain't worried about sound effects and all the noise you guys make!"

"The girls will do groan-overs later when the camera work is done!"

"Ooops! Sorry Boss! I kind of forgot it was you over there!"

"Howie thinks that we may have a problem here, Sol!"

"What problem? The squibs worked fine!
Maybe not as loud a bang as I'd want for gunfire ...
But I'll take care of that when I add the sound track!
So whuddaya think, Howie?
"What's your problem?"

"Well, you see," Howie stammered.
"Things got in such a rush when I got here ..."

"And what with having to remove the decorations from the pins ..."

"... That I just may have inserted the detonators into their navels backwards ...
... So that instead of exploding outward as they should have ...
... The cartridges were propelled inward ..."

"You mean to tell me that you blew holes in their bellies ..?
... And that those two girls are really dead?"

"Well, Sir ... That is to say ... I'm afraid they might be ..."

"Howie, those two girls were the personal favorites of the Thrill Killer here!
Now then ... Sol? You and I will tidy things up around here ...
But my advice to Howie Glotz would be ..."

"... To leave for a permanent vacation
to some uncharted island somewhere off the coast of Madagascar!