Ah! Sandra!
How good it is to chat with you once again after all this time!
It has been a fair number of years since we've all had the chance
to stretch and varnish a few truths with you over at GMan's Fatal Females Message Board, now hasn't it?
And now that I have you positionined more or less precisely as I would have you,
there is perhaps an issue that I would discuss with you ...
Are you quite comfortable?
Good!
Then we may as well get straight to the point!
Shall we not?
If you are wondering how I came to track you down, it happened that I was lurking about the
Deadskirts Message Board
when I came upon the article you, or someone using the pen name of Sandi, posted an article on the term misogyny.
Misogyny is a hatred for, or a strong prejudice against women.
With that definition I was quite willing to drop the matter and to continue with my quest
for other matters nearer and dearer to my heart.
But the mere fact that the subject was broached on a message board that purports to support
some portion of the fantasy that I enjoy to some extent myself implies that we all,
and what is more important, I, by implication am to be tarred with the same brush,
and we all know that it is a hit bird that flutters.
Hatred is not only negative, it is entirely too strong a word to be applied to anyone who shares this fantasy of ours.
I am convinced that anyone who is unbalanced to the point of hating his female counterparts in life is, unfortunately,
more apt to be doing something about it than he (or perhaps she) is likely to be sitting before a monitor looking at pictures.
I would be inclined to dismiss the matter and let it go at that were it not for the fact that the term misogyny
has had more concepts swept into its meaning than our politicians see fit to attach riders to a senate appropriations bill.
One of the concepts related to misogyny is gynophobia which is the fear of women, but not necessarily hatred of them.
The Latin language term horror feminae means literally "fear of women" and is applied as a synonym both for misogyny and gynophobia.
So here is where the confusion, if there is any, may arise.
I expect that there are many men, most in fact when they own up to it, have a "fear" of women.
We all possess an ego, you see. And in some cases this ego bruises more easily than in others.
Men may have "bull sessions" where they get together to socialize in one way or another.
But never do they "expose" the most sensitive parts of themselves to one another in quite the same way as they will,
or want to be able to, to a woman.
The "fear" men have of women then is not so much of physical harm is it is that of a fear of rejection.
Or he may be afraid that he does not or may not measure up to her expectations and so he fears her ridicule,
which, of course is another "slap" to the male ego.
No "put down" coming from another male is any where near as hard to take as when the "barb" comes from a female.
That being the case, it makes the experience all the more painful.
No matter how independent and rugged an individualist he may seem, men are all small boys at heart.
They turn to a woman for nuture and support.
He turns to her as a surrogate "mother" almost as often as a sex partner or a companion.
It's not often if ever that he is likely to admit this but that does nothing to alter the fact that its true
were he only "man enough" to admit it.
So, if the heterosexual male turns to the, or more properly, a female for succor and moral support,
it follows that one of the things he would rather not have to do is to compete with her.
He wouldn't expect to be pitted against her on the football field, a baseball diamond or a basketball court.
And neither does he really want to have to compete with her for advancement in his career in the workplace.
Of course in most instances he has to and that may at times lead to a certain amount of resentment, but I would hardly call it hate.
You will note that I have not made the claim that misogny does not exist in our
or any society.
I expect that there are men somewhere who hate women as a group for no other reason than that they are female.
My contention is that I doubt very much that any of them exist within the realm of this fantasy that we share.
The term misogynist, like most negative descriptions of an attitude,
is used as an epithet and applied to a wide variety of behaviors and attitudes.
As with any other definition, the more antipathetic one's own position is in regards to misogyny,
the larger the number of misogynists and the greater variety of attitudes and behaviors who fall into one's perception of "misogynist."
This tendency to take men as a group and to "tar them with the same brush" is, of course,
the subject of much controversy and debate with opinions ranging widely as to the extent and breadth of misogyny in society.
Sexual predators are most often male. Men equate sex with power or virility while women
will usually equate it with emotion first. Or they see it as a commodity or bargaining tool.
~ J.D. Robb (Nora Roberts) Origin In Death ~
It may well be that those who produce these small vignettes for our viewing pleasure are hopelessly romantic
in that in their fantasy life they are seeking a partner who is willing to yield to them,
in the words of the old song, Body and Soul.
The author of these captions often views these productions much as he would any "horror movie"
and that is as the enactment of a tragedy if it is well done, or a poor joke if it is not.
In any event, the show is the thing, and it is and remains impossible to "hate"
any woman who is willing to lay back and emote for us as this lady has as
captured within the framework of this series of photographs.
What strange creatures human beings are.
How can they be all these different things at the same time, and feel all these conflicting emotions.
Love and hate, joy and despair, courage and fear.
~ Nicholas Evans, The Divide ~
And after he had made all the other creatures of the earth, only then did the Creator make man and woman.
And he fashioned their bodies that they should know each other's flesh but their souls that they should be forever strangers.
For only thus divided might they find their true path.
~ Calvin Sashone, Creative Mythology ~
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