"Gee!
Are yuh sure that I should?
I mean ..."
"Shoot her, dammit!"
For all her doubts and fits of self deprecation, Grace was an excellent shot.
Her rifle cracked soddenly out over the open water ...
And a bullet tore into the body of the tall blonde woman who had come to the stony water front to greet their boat.
A second geyser of blood spurted briefly from Rachel's chest as Grace fired a second round.
"Way ta go, Grace!
Rachel!
My but don't you look fine with those gapin' holes in your chest!"
The woman, Rachel's face twisted in agony ...
She hovered for a breathless moment ...
And then fell sprawling to the dark pebbled sand ...
Very possibly dead even before her body struck the ground.
"Nice shootin', pardner!" Sandi enthused as Rachel went down.
Grace took the gun from her shoulder and smiled her appreciation at Sandi's enthusiastic compliment
on her prowness with the gun.
Then both girls looked at one another in a moment of stunned silence.
The outboard motor had stalled.
"Don't worry!
I'll have it running again in no time!"
Sandi hoped she sounded fully confident and competent for Grace's sake if not her own.
Lord only knew the last time the boat had been serviced.
She pulled on the recoil starter and at first the engine made a few feeble attempts to fire ...
But after pulling the rope until she was exhausted, Chere had to concede that they had a problem.
"We're gonna hafta row for shore!"
"But we've gotta get outta here!
Rachels' friends will be coming any time now!"
"Don't argue with me, Grace!
Save your breath and row!
I've gotta have a chance to tinker with the motor!
The fuel is gummed up or something!"
Fortunately, their boat was not far off shore when Grace gunned down Rachel ...
And so it took no great amount of time for them to reach solid ground.
Grace looked over at Rachel's still corpse and shuddered.
"What should we do with her?" Grace asked pointing in the general direction of the dead woman's body.
"Who?
Rachel?
Leave her!
We haven't got time to fool around!
C'mon!"
"Wuddaya wan' me ta do?
I doan know nothin' 'bout boats an' motors an' such!"
Grace whimpered and Sandi looked over at her confederate with distaste.
"Grace!
Pull yourself together and go take care of Rachel's Crew, will you?
I gotta see what I can do with this outboard motor!"
"Come along now, Chester!
Let's get a move on, shall we?"
"You're gonna hafta excuse me, Mr Romano!
But I ain't in shape for all the exercise I've been getting lately!"
"What's happened to the ace of the 'Ace Hitmen and Body Removal Service?'
Haven't Charle Toona and Edna St Vincent been keeping you busy enough of late, Chester?"
"Oh, they're doin' fine, Mr R!
But I never met the corpse yet that was in any real hurry ta go anywhere!"
Chester paused to get his wind after he had clambored along the gang-plank and climbed aboard the power boat
which lurched noticeably at the mooring as it took his weight.
"Get your sea legs under you there, Chester!" Romano advised as he fired the boat engine.
"Slip the hawser, Chester, and we'll cast off!"
"Uh ...
I'd be glad ta, Boss ...
But ..?"
"Pull that noose off the post, Chester!"
"Oh!
Okay!
Now I gotcha!"
Johnny Romano was by nature a patient man and today he could see that he would be eternally grateful that he was!
"What's comin' down, Mr Romano?"
Went the call came in that Chester was to join forces with the Jonny Romano,
he had at first been in hopes that hw would be treated to another meal at Romano's tony eatery.
Such was not to be the case however.
The Boss left word with Charlie Toona that Chester was to meet him at the marina.
Chester had gotten snarled in traffic making his way toward the shore and it had taken him considerably longer
to get there than he had anticipated.
The upshot was that they were late getting away and Chester was only thankful that it was Romano he had to face
when he arrived because Charlie Toona would have read him the Riot Act under no uncertain terms.
"We're off to pick up Rachel and three other girls out at that island property I purchased last year!"
"Are you expecting a problem of some kind, Mr Romano?"
Chester was naturally curious to know how it was that the Big Boss had wanted to include him
on what would seem to be a social occasion.
"There shouldn't be, Chester, but in our line of work, a man can never quite tell!
And I always prefer to be prepared in any case!"
Johnny Romano steered the launch in a sweeping arc after they were well away from the dock.
"You're carrying, aren't you, Chester?"
He added by way of an afterthought but with a certain level of concern apparent in his voice.
"Always, Mr Romano!" Came Chester's reassuring reply.
"Is it strange that you should ask?"
"I stopped carrying a gun myself almost twenty years ago, Chester,
but it remains comforting to know that there's one handy at times!"
"What are we heading into, Mr Romano?
All I've got is ol' Betsy here!"
Chester eased his 45 caliber revolver in its holster under his sport jacket.
"That should be more than sufficient, Chester!
After all, we're only supposed to be going to the island to pick up a boatload of girls!"
"And yet you suspect otherwise, Mr Romano?"
"Chester, I purchased that small island from an estate.
I got it at a good price because the family had all moved out of the area
and the last remaining member of the family was about to pass away in a nursing facility."
"A bargain, Mr Romano?"
"To be honest, it wasn't quite the bargain I had hoped for, Chester!
I thought that it could be developed into a tourist attraction of some kind ...
I've always wanted to play the Omar Sharif gambler-type who hangs around his own casino somewhere ...
That sort of thing ..."
"So what happened, Mr Romano?"
"What has happened is nothing of the sort.
The EPA stopped me cold in my tracks ..."
"The Environmentalists?
Gosh, Mr Romano!
I thought you had friends in High Places who had enough clout to get around that sort of thing!"
"And perhaps I do, Chester!
But the whole project promised to cost so much that I've subsided
and so now I use the island as a retreat to simply get away from it all every so often!"
"And so now something has come up?"
"Chester, do you recall the Casino Royale?"
"Wasn't that the place that got taken down in a gang war some years back, Mr R?"
"That's the place, Chester!
Some twenty years ago, a conflict arose between two factions in the Syndicate,
with one family running the Casino Royale while the other was on the outside looking in, so to speak ..."
"The situation escalated until one night a considerable force of armed men burst into the casino
and proceeded to machine gun to death nearly every living soul in the gaming room ..."
"It caused quite a sensation at the time and was in all of the newspapers for months.
The upshot of the affair was that shortly thereafter the Casino Royale was forced to close ..."
"Due to the notoriety, Mr Romano?"
"You might think so, Chester, but actually it was more likeky due to the fact
that a substantial sum of money had disappeared from the casino coffers
and the establishment was forced into bankruptcy."
"The money was never recovered and there was considerable speculation at the time
that there never had been any great amount of it in the first place.
In any event, after a period of time went by, certain members of the rival family
were held accountable for the attack at the casino,
several of them were convicted of murder and conspiracy,
and so the hue and cry gradually dissipated as is ever the case."
"Until recently, Mr Romano?"
"Until a woman by the name of Rachel Shanghorn came to me with a scheme
to go treasure hunting on an island that had in the meantime become my property."
"Treasure Island!
I'll be damned!"
"I thought the notion would amuse you, Chester!
It seems that Rachel Shanghorn has somehow become convinced that a sizeable portion of the fortune
stolen from the Casino Royale had been secreted away somewhere on that island!
Rachel Shanghorn has assembled a crew of adventurous females and came to me
requesting permission to investigate and excavate as need be!"
"And so we are going out to the island to satisfy your curiosity, Mr Romano?
If so, it won't be long now 'cause I see land ahead!"
"That's the island, Chester, and we'll be ashore in just a few minutes!
But no!
This is not just out of curiosity, Chester!
Rachel Shanghorn was in contact with me two days ago with the request that I meet with her out on the island ...
She said she had something of interest to show me ..."
"There's the shore just ahead, Mr R!
M'God!
Look!"
Johnny Romano took the pair of binoculars that hung from a hook next to the wheel of his craft
and peered in the direction Chester was pointing.
"Off hand I'd say that Rachel Shanghorn has had a mutiny to contend with, Chester!
I'm certainly thankful that I brought you and your firearm along on this jaunt!"
"May be, Mr Romano!
But how many women did you say were involved in this affair?"
"Counting Rachel Shanghorn, I think there are six!"
"Well from the looks of things, Rachel doesn't count for anything any more, Mr R!"
"No, I'm afraid not!
But why are you interested, Chester?
Why do you ask?"
"I got ol' Betsy with me, Mr Romano!
But at the moment I don't seem to be carryin' any exta ammo!"
"Grace!
Wake up!
What're ya doin' sleepin' the day away for God's sake?"
"The boat's loaded now, Sandi!
I was so tired!
I just had ta lay down for a nap!"
"Are ya sure ya got all of it aboard, Grace?
There ain't gonna much opportunity for any return trips, ya know!"
"We've got everything Rachel's girls have found so far, Sandi!"
"It's gonna hafta do then!
We can't afford ta hang here much longer!"
"Are yuh sure about the boat, Sandi?
We don't wanna get stranded somewhere out on the water!"
"The boat's fine, Grace!
An' lemme assure you that gettin' lost at sea will be better than what's gonna happen
if Rachel's boyfriend catches up with us!"
"Golly!
With all the action around here, I'd about forgotten about him!
Who is he anyway, Sandi?"
"Johnny Romano ..."
"Johnny Romano?
The gangster!
O My God!
Sandi!
What are we gonna do?!"
"Well, for starters, Grace, I wan'cha ta go outside an' pop those three broads
Rachel had ta do the dirty work!
We certainly don't need them hangin' aroun' our necks, now do we?"
"Shoot them?
Me?
Sandi!
I couldn't!
I can't!"
"Whaddaya mean, ya can't?
I jus' saw ya gun down Rachel Shanghorn as neat as ya please!"
"But ...
But Sandi!
Those girls are helpless!"
"So?
Do ya mean ta say that ya wan'em ta hava fair shot at you?"
"Well, no ... but ..."
"'Course ya could offer each one of 'em a runnin' start if ya prefer!"
"But Sandi!
They're ...
They're all so helpless and ...
And naked!"
"Well!
If what yuh mean ta say is that I've gotta take care of those gurls myself ...
Then I will!"
"But only after I take care of one other small matter first!"
"Sandi!
No!
Please!
Don't!"
"Aw, now Grace!
Don't take it so hard!
What else couldja have expected?
I mean, after all!"
"Now don't take me wrong, Grace!
I really appreciated your help!"
"Like, I know I coulda never blasted Rachel myself, rockin' around in the boat the way we were!"
"But I'm only really good at this sort of thing at close range, ya see!"
"So I'll be real merciful, an' shoot cha just once ..."
"Just one bullet ...
Right between those fine mammaries you're so righteously proud of!"
Sandi's slug caught Grace almost directly between her breasts as Sandi had promised.
Grace's head jerked up and back so suddenly that you'd think her neck might snap ...
"Grace, Doll you're hangin' up there so nice that I'm tempted ta put another charge inta yer udders just for good measure!"
Sandi admired her now ex-partner's body as she pitched back ...
"But I know I promised yuh that I'd only plug yuh once ...
And a promise is a promise after all!"
"There, now, Grace!
You just settle back an' get on with your nap!
Sorry to have interrupted yuh this way ..."
"But some things just hafta be attended to!
Ya know what I mean?
Now!
Where did you put your rifle?
There's Rachel's gurls to attend to yet!"
The two men stood silently looking down at the body of the woman as she lay lifelessly at the water's edge.
"Look's as though Rachel Shanghorn got more than she bargained for when she came out here looking for buried treasure,
doesn't it, Mr Romano?"
Chester squatted down and cursorily examined the corpse.
"She hasn't been dead long ...
If I hadn't gotten stuck in the traffic like I did ..."
"You don't find much joy in this work, do you, Chester?" Romano commiserated.
"Can't say that I do, Mr R!
Leastwise, not really ...
Guess there's nothin' for me ta do now but to carry her over to the boat ..."
"Get down, Chester!
That was a gunshot!"
Chester had his own gun drawn and ready.
"Which way, Mr R?"
"It came from the direction of the cottage!"
"That's quite a hike away, Mr R!"
"Yes!
But suffice it to say, I think you'd best leave Rachel as she is until we investigate!"
Both men made their way warily as they approached the cottage.
"I'll take the back, Chester!"
"But, Johnny!
You haven't got a gun!
Ooops!
Sorry, Mr R!"
"It's okay, Chester!"
Romano quickly forgave Chester's breach of ettiquete.
"You'll have to go in first, I'm afraid!"
Chester was about to offer his foot to the front door of the cottage
when he heard Romano call to him from somewhere in the rear.
"It's okay, Chester!
There's no one inside!"
Chester opened the door and walked in.
"I'm glad ya caught me in time, Mr R!
Saved useless damage to the front door ta say nothin' of my shoe ...
Aw, Hell!"
This last came as Chester entered the room at the rear of the cottage and saw Grace
where she lay sprawled among the bedclothes and his employer, Johnny Romano looking down at her.
"Chest-shot once at rather close range," Johnny observed.
"Do you know who she is, Mr R?" Chester asked as he joined him.
"No Chester, I don't ...
But doesn't it strike you how nicely she arched back over that pillow?"
"Hooters would a been proud ta employ her, Mr R!
How many others did yuh say were involved in this treasure hunt?"
"Six all together, Chester!
And from the look of things, I'd say that someone was thinning out the ranks!"
"Could be I won't be needin' any extra ammo after all, Mr R?"
"That well may be, Chester ...
Chester, I'm about to do the something unheard of!"
"What's that, Mr Romano?"
"I'm a law-abiding tax-paying citizen of this fair community, I'll have you know!"
"Yessir, I'll never dispute that ..."
"And I'm about to put in a call to the police!"
Sandi knew that she was going to have to wrap up her affairs quickly now.
Plugging Grace had not necessarily been a part of her plan originally.
Sandi had included Grace in on the deal for her shooting skills.
But the broad was such a wimp that Sandi had known from the beginning
that they would come to a parting of the ways eventually and now seemed as good a time as any.
Loose ends are loose ends after all and she didn't want to leave any of those laying around!
The boat now held all that it carry safely and it was time she attended to the girls
who had been doing the ditch digging!
The three were ex-jailbirds Rachel had met up with during the course of her travels
and just the thing for grunt work!
Rachel ...
Sandi hefted the rifle as she hiked her way back into the wooded area on the inland of the island.
She wondered whether Rachel actually intended to split the loot with her team ...
Or whether she would have Johnny Romano and his boys attend to them
while she and her mobster sailed off into the sunset?
What a pipedream that was!
Do all broads have the idea that their bod is the one that is so desirable
that a man will forsake his greed just to be with her?
"Our own ego is apt ta be the death of us all!"
Sandi grinned to herself and shook her head at the wonder of it all.
"Well, there are Rachel's ladies all lined up and waiting!
Let's see, what approach should I take?
Straightforward and to the point, why not?
"Well!
I must say!
You ladies have all done such a fine job that I think y'all deserve a raise!"
"Thanks, Sandi!
What's with the gun?
Where's Grace?"
"Ladies, I'm not sure how you to know who I am!
But I guess it doesn't matter ...
Because it seems that there's been a slight change in the plan!"
"There has?"
"Where's Rachel?"
"Yes ...
Well, you see ...
Now that you girls have dug that hole ...
It appears that it's become necessary ta fill it back up!"
"Huh?!
Say, what?"
"Yes ...
And since you're so interested, Babe, I suggest you go first!"
Crack!
"Hunngh!"
"My God!
Sandi!
What have you done?"
"Done?
Well now!
Just off-hand I'd hafta say that I've just pumped a slug through the middle of that babe's chest!"
"Now!
More to the point!
It's not who I've done that matters as much as, who's next?"
"No!
Please!"
"Let's see now!
Grace was a brunette ...
And Babe here is blonde!
So that means I should shoot another brunette ta keep things even!"
"Nooo!"
"Golly!
Is the best you girls can do is scream No! all the time?"
"But, why?"
Crack!
"Nayugh!"
"Yes, why ...
Well there is of course the small matter of all that money you ladies have unearthed ..."
"But you know?
Ta be honest, I'd hafta say that I'm really the sights and sounds of killing you broads!
'Course you gals aren't big enough to go very far toward filling up this hole you've dug ..."
"No!
Please!
Don't kill me!"
"Hell!
Why not?
What makes you so special?"
"I can Turn You On beyond you're wildest dreams!"
"Are you kiddin'?
Me?
You picked the wrong time an' place for that line, Honey!
But then why did I just know you were gonna say something like that?"
"Sorry Honey, but I ain't that kind of girl!"
Blam!
"Nice one, Honey!
Golly!
But I wish this could go on all day!"
"But like they say!
All good things must come to an end!
I know of course that there are those for who the party would be only just beginnin' ..."
"Honey!
You've got the kinda tits ta be squeezed all day ...
And that's ta say nothin' of Babe layin' over there!
But I hope you ladies'll understand that at the moment I'm kinda pressed for time ..."
"And so I'm gonna hafta let sleepin' dogs lie, as they say ...
And offer you many thanks till you're better paid!"
"Who's that coming out of the woods, Mr Romano?"
"That's Sandi, Chester!
One of Rachel's women!"
"Maybe she has some clue as ta what's been goin' around here?"
"Unless I'm very much mistaken, Chester,
Sandi could very well be what has been going on around here!
Rachel contacted me last night to tell me that she had found what she was looking for!"
"And that was what, Mr R?"
"The missing Casino Royal fortune!"
"And you think that blonde babe ...?"
"Has murdered two other women at least, yes, Chester!"
"She's comin' this way!
Ya want I should put a cap in her now, Mr R?"
"Keep down, Chester!
I want the police to handle this if we can!"
Sandi was in a hurry and in her haste she failed to reconnoiter the cottage adequately
before she came through the door.
And for that reason it was a fairly simple matter for Chester,
from the position he had taken up by the outer wall of the cottage,
to knock the rifle to one side as the woman came through the door.
He followed that up with an ungentlemanly clout that sent the woman sprawling to the floor.
"So, Sandi!
I take it that you are the Last Woman Standing?
"Johnny!
I knew I'd taken too long with those babes in the woods!"
"So how many did that make, Sandi?
I mean all totalled!"
"There were three of Rachels' grunts up there in the woods, Johnny!
And then of course there's Grace over there on the bed!"
"Are you forgetting about, Rachel, Chere?"
"I didn't do Rachel, Johnny, honest!"
"No?
Well, then who did, may I ask?"
"Grace!"
"Well, at least it's refreshing to hear that it is no more complicated than that, is it?"
"It's a lotta money, Johnny!
A helluva lot of money!"
"I can imagine that it is!
And I would hope that it should be!"
"Why's that, Johnny?"
"Sandi!
There's five women dead!"
"Oh, yeah ...
Right!"
"You in the cottage!
Come out with your hands in the air!"
"The constabulary have arrived, Mr Romano!"
"Best to do as the man requests, Chester!"
"He'll get no arguments from me, Mr R!"
"It's okay, Chester!
I know these fellows!"
"Ladies before gentlemen, Sandi!"
"Oh, no!
Nothin' doin'!
I'm not goin' out there!
Not after all I been through!"
"Suit yourself, m'am!
But you'll excuse us if we take our cue to depart?"
"Once again!
Throw out your weapons and come out with your hands up!"
"What makes him think we've got any weapons, Mr Romano?"
"C'mon, Chester!
Don't kid me, will ya?
Besides ...
It's merely a formality!
Now toss your gun out the window!"
"Gosh!
I don't think I've ever done this before!
Sorry, Bess!
I'll make it up to ya, I promise!
I'll polish y'up every night with your favorite gun oil!"
"The rifle too, Chester!"
"Okay, outside!
Listen up!
We're coming out!"
"Wha'?
Ya mean you two He-men are gonna go off an' leave me behind?"
"You can join us if you'd care to, Sandi!"
"Nothin' doin'!"
"Have it your way then!"
Chester pushed the cottage door open slowly with his foot and his boss,
Johnny Romano eased himself through the opening.
"Mr Romano!
Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Officer Johnson!
And how might you be?"
"Is there anyone else inside there with you, Mr Romano?"
Johnny Romano could see that the police had the cottage well-covered
and very likely surrounded as he turned slightly to call back to Chester.
"It's okay to show yourself, Chester!
We'll have some explaining to do, but I know Officer Johnson here!"
As Chester cleared the door he heard a small scuffling noise come from inside the cottage behind him ...
And instinctively he launched himself at the slender form of his employer ...
"Johnny!
Get down!"
The bullet from Sandi's gun stung Chester from behind just as he pressed his palms to the smaller man's shoulders ...
And both men went to the ground ...
From which vantage point they remained as a police sharp-shooter returned fire on the cottage ...
"That'll show you two heroes a thing or two won't it?"
Which was likely the last semi-rational thought that Sandi had coming to her on this day or for any other ...
The heavy caliber slug fired by the police sharp-shooter took Sandi Chere high in the chest ...
And so the last of the six women involved in Rachel's Treasure Hunt went down to reap her final reward.
Sandi expired with the satisfaction of knowing that ...
At the very least she wouldn't die naked like the three grunts she had shot down out in the woods ...
"Chester!
Are you all right!"
Johnny Romano was the first of the pair to rise from the dust.
"The slug only grazed me!
But I won't lie to yuh, Mr R ...
I've been better!"
"Chester!
You saved my life!
How can I ever thank you enough?"
"I was the one in the way, Mr R!
The bullet knocked me down, that's all!"
"Take credit when you can get it, Chester!"
"Thanks, Mr Romano!
I will!
But, Mr R?"
"Yes, Chester?"
"I think it'll be a whole lot easier next time if you were to just let me plug the dame myself an' be done with it!"
"I suppose it would be, Chester!
But you've got to realize that this whole thing revolved around a rather substantial amount of money!"
"Doesn't it always, Mr R?"
"In our case, most often yes!
And there's one thing that you must always remember!"
Chester winced as a medic arrived to put his arm in a sling.
"What's that, Mr R?"
"Always remember that in our country a man may get away with murder ...
But never his money!"
