I was running late, again, as usual.
And so the starting gong had already sounded as I made my way down the aisle and took a seat down toward the front
of Aunt Chilada's Kill-a-Babe Theater ...
And once again, I was sitting on the outside looking in on a disaster that was about to happen ...
Billed as neither a knife fight nor a wrestling match,
I couldn't help but wonder what manner of contest was this to which I was to bear witness?
From the onset, it would appear that the two female contestants were themselves at least somewhat unsure
of just what was actually expected of them ...
Indeed, it appeared for a moment as if one of the women was peering into the wings as though
she were in search of some stage direction ...
But then, in reality I suppose she was concentrating on the business end of the knife that her opponent had well in hand!
The only thing that was fairly certain was that at least one of the two
was almost certainly bound to come away with the business end of a knife buried in her gut!
From my vantage point near the stage, I could see one of the women pass an unintelligible comment to the other ...
Whatever she said couldn't have been overly complimentary because her opponent snarled something back at her by way of response ...
I was here on a "recruiting mission" - or so I'll call it in I guess what is an attempt to justify my being there in the first place ...
Aunt Chilada had asked me to locate a girl to work the tables at the Amazon Cafe ...
And what could be more appropriate than to recruit the victor of the latest brawl here at the Kill-a-Babe Theater?
The contestants here quite literally take their lives in their hands working here the way they do ...
So one would think that the winner would welcome the opportunity to work in the relaxed atmosphere of Chilada's Cafe
where the only thing she will have to dodge will be the occasional pairs of Roamin' Hands!
And she'd only have to duck them if she were of a mind to do so!
In stark contrast, this bout is shaping up to be about as genteel as a street fight!
That babe may have a sharp knee - but she sure did take a good jolt in retaliation!
I learned in a brief whispered conversation that the opponents were Cassandra and Raven.
Cassandra appeard to have the upper hand at first, but now it'was Raven's turn to take charge!
Raven curently has the advantage and she means to make the most of it too!
Yes! It looks as though that head-butt has really shaken her opponent!
Cassandra now has no choice but to roll with the flow - playing for time to gather her wits!
Uh-oh! Beware of de-feet! Those spiked heels the ladies favor are lethal weapons in their own right!
See? What did I tell you?
Now its Cassandra's turn to snarl while Raven reacts to a severe pain in the foot!
Cassandra has succeeded in breaking Raven's hold!
Raven totters but recovers before she goes down!
Cassandra winds up and throws another haymaker!
But she takes too long about it - and so Raven manages to dodge and trip her up!
Neither of you two girls would be pulling my leg, now would you?
Cassandra is about to take a fall that I should think would knock the stuffings out of her!
(I know it would me!)
Cass decides that the best course of action is to get out from under foot!
Even so, Raven manages to put her down as Cass tries to clear her head!
Cassandra rolls over on her stomach while she manages to cock a leg ...
From all appearances Cassandra is down for the count!
But she manages to bend her kness and so shove Raven away and break her hold ...
Raven has no choice but to fall back and away as Cassandra's legs become fully extended!
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And now Cassandra appears about to read the Riot Act to her opposite number ...
Cassandra thrusts her legs upward hoping to fetch her opponent a kick, but Raven has wisely dodged back and out of reach!
Taking advantage of the brief respit, Cassandra seeks to scramble to her feet!
And now, it is Cassandra who is about to turn the tables on Raven with her patented strangle hold!
But Raven is anything but petrified and she seeks to break Cassandra's hold by jerking her head back by its pony-tail!
At this point, Cassandra appears to be getting the worst of it as each one tries to choke the other!
These two women are so evenly matched ...
That neither has any clear advantage over the other!
And so the outcome of this contest ...
Flows back and forth ... First one way ...
And then, the other!
But what both of these women appear to have lost sight of,
is that this contest was originally billed as a Knife Fight - of sorts ...
But wait just one moment! Perhaps I spoke too soon!
Even though she is concentrating on choking the life on her opponent ...
Cassandra catches sight of one of the knives that lay all but forgotten on the floor!
And now she has it well within her grasp!
Ha! Now she has it! she adjusts her grip!
She prepares to raise her weapon on high!
Cassandra appears to be savoring the moment before she brings her knife plunging down!
The knife will descend in a death-dealing stroke that is fully intended to slash the life out of Raven in a single thrust!
But Raven, for her part is doing her level best to fend her off!
In desperation, Raven manages to throw Cassandra off-balance and scrambles with her foot to bring the second knife within reach!
But Cassandra powers her way off the floor and succeeds in blocking Raven's attempt to gain control of the knife ...
Cassandra becomes aware of what her opponent is attempting to do!
She manages to block Raven's attempt at retrieving a knife of her own ...
And now it would seem that it is Cassandra who has managed to snatch victory from the very jaws of defeat!
But just as suddenly the tables turn! And now it is Raven who has the advantage of the upper hand as well as a knife of her own!
And so now it is Cassandra who is down!
And it is Raven who raises her knife!
Cassandra manages to hold her off for the moment ...
But Raven has the upper hand now and she seems most anxious to take advantage of it!
Raven is determined to drive her knife into Cassandra's navel!
I don't know that she will win any extra points for doing so ...
But that may have been the object of the contest from the onset.
But now that we've struck upon the subject of blades and navels, you will perhaps excuse me
if I digress for a moment to enlarge upon these topics to a certain extent ...
While there are at the very least several good reasons in choosing the navel for the target area when a knife is to be employed ...
The first and perhaps foremost is of course the purely visual aspect ...
A warrior will quite naturally "suck in" her belly - making every attempt to avoid the intrusion of your blade ...
This will likely cause her ribcage to expand to its fullest capacity ...
And this is of course is a very pleasant sight to behold which is all well and good ...
But at the same time, it is hardly the only reason for making the navel your target of choice ...
Were Pariah here to witness this performance, she would be apt to inform us that the real reason
is not so much in an attempt to be picturesque, but a mere matter of leverage,
or more properly, a lack of same on the part of the intended victim ...
The belly being at least one of the most indefensible portions of the human anatomy.
The arms of the victim, being more or less fully extended,
are less capable of mounting much in the way of any serious defense ...
And quite often the victim will like as not find herself in the position of having the blade of her opponent buried to the hilt!
And so we have Cassandra clutching frantically at the handle of the knife that is now protruding from the depths of her belly!
She howls in agony as she tries to summon the inner fortitude to pull the offending blade
from where it has been thrust deep into her tortured body!
Now, ordinarily I'm not what you would call a gambling man ...
And so I didn't have Dime One riding on the outcome of this contest ...
And in being here all that I intend to do is to make an offer of prospective employment to the victor on behalf of Aunt Chilada!
Still, I somehow can't help but think that had I been asked to pick the winner ...
That I would likely have picked the woman who is even now actively dying at the feet of her antagonist!
That just goes to show you what I know about these affairs!
I guess that I may have overlooked one aspect during my discourse concerning the preferred blade placement in a victim's body ...
And that is that as in the case of any belly wound ...
It can take the victim what may first appear to be an inordinately long time to die ...
So, if you enjoy watching your victims suffer ...
You can't pick a better spot for the placement of your blade ...
Than to drive your weapon through her navel and into that which lies beyond!
Now, were it me, I guess that I would prefer to wrap my fist around the knife in order to feel it plumb the depths of my victim's guts!
But seeing that this is a woman-to-woman affair, I guess that Raven's foot is every bit as appropriate!
Well ... Here we have the victor ... Delivering her parting shot ...
Now she's heading off stage ...
Let me see if I can catch up with her for a moment ...
Oh! Hello! Say! May I speak to you for a minute?
Where's my what? My cigar?
Oh! I get it! But no ... I'm not an Agent!
Well ... Not that kind of agent, anyway!
But I am here to offer you an opportunity ... If you are interested?
What is it? Another gig? Where?
Why, it's just across the way at Aunt Chilada's Amazon Roadhouse and Cafe!
Doing what? Well now, that's a fair question!
Working as an Entertainer ... With a hand at waitressing now and then, I'd expect!
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You say you're not interested?
But what then are you going to do now after this, may I ask?
Work here?
Here? Did you say?
But ... How long do you think that you can keep this up?
Longer than I can, did you say?
Honey! That isn't admitting to much!
What I meant to say was ...
How long can you keep going ...
Before you wind up like our friend Cassandra, here?
Oh! I see! This won't happen to you!
Well then ... Just one more question before you go!
Did you need any special training before your bout tonight?
Two days at the January Clearance Sales at the Mall?
I see! If you can survive that ordeal, you can do anything!
Just one last question! Why didn't you remove Cassandra's top?
It wasn't in your contract?
Well, but shucks! If I wanted t'see you girls all covered up that way -
I could just as easy spend a Saturday afternoon at the supermarket!
You'll try to keep that in mind, won't you?
