It had been a long day and I had just finished waxing the floor out in the cafeteria at the senior center.
No events were scheduled to take place there for the next few days
and so I figured that I could wait until tomorrow evening before I set the tables and chairs back in place.
I was about to shut off the lights and leave when I heard the delightful titter of young female voices
emanating from the old stage that stands off at one end of what once had been the schools gymnasium / auditorium
across the hall from the cafeteria.
Ordinarily I would have stuck my nose in to see what was going on ...
But tonight I was dog-tired and so I spoke into the empty gym from the hallway as I headed for the door ...
"Does anybody know that you ladies are here tonight?"
"Yes, Uncle Buck!
Ms Budderbawl gave us permission!
We want to work on the timing of our entrances on-stage!"
Remembering the experiences of my own little theater group all those many years ago,
I could understand her point, so I just smiled to myself.
"Okay, then!
But be sure to turn out all the lights!
The door will lock behind you when you leave!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do!
And hava Good night!"
"And so, Honey!
Now that we are alone at last!
Shall we get ourselves down to the business at hand?"
"Brrr!
Isn't it kinda cold in here, Carrie?"
"Cool air is good for you, Honey!
It stiffens your nipples without anyone having to work at them!"
"Isn't that kind of too bad in a way?"
"Depends on how you look at 'em, I suppose ..."
"Now if you will just lie back ...
That's the way!
Are we nice 'n' comfortable?"
"Yes ...
I guess so, Carrie!"
"All right then!
It is customary to open the Ceremony with a few well-chosen Words of Prayer!"
"O Ishtar!
Lord and Master!
Hear my plea!
Accept this my humble offering!"
"Humble Offering?!
Now wait just one minute!"
"Let's have a reverent silence down there! Okay?
This is Serious Business, I'd have you know!"
"Well ...
Okay, Carrie ...
If you say so ..."
"Gosh!
What have I let myself in for this time?"
"She promised that this Wouldn't Hurt a Bit!"
"But did she mean that it wouldn't hurt me? Or her?!"
"That knife sure does look awfully real!
Is all of that s'posed t'go into l'il ol' me?!"
"Do you have any particular preference, Honey?"
"Well ... Just now I'd prefer to be anywhere but here!"
"I meant - Choice of Location for the first thrust of the knife , you Silly Goose!"
"No response?
Very well then!
I shall have to decide!"
"Beneath the lower curve of the belly always makes a good safe place to begin!
How's this?"
"Yeeeee ...!"
"Yeeeee ...!"
There!
The first thrust of the knife is always the hardest to take!
It gets much easier after that!"
"O God! Carrie!
It Hurts!"
"Now, now!
Don't carry on so!
There's no need for that!
Now then ...
Just a little bit more ..."
"Yeee-aaaahhh!"
"And then - just a little more after than!"
"We have the makings of a really Fine Arch here, Honey!
Just keep it up kid! The higher and the longer the better!"
"Almost all the way in!
What do you say to that, Honey?"
"Yeee-aaaahhh!"
"I believe you said that earlier, didn't you?
Just try to think of the blade of this knife as a man thrusting into himself you!"
"It makes it all seem easier to take!"
"It does sometimes at any rate!
Or so I've been told ..."
"Nice 'n' easy does it now!
Did I mention before that you have all the makings of a fine arch going for you, young lady?"
"There now!
See?
You can take a lot more than one little ol' poke in the gut!
Can't you, Honey?"
"It's almost out of you now!
Should I thrust it right back in, do you think?"
"Noooooo!"
"I thought you'd say something in words to that effect!"
"Well! I just thought that I'd offer you the option!
That means I'll have to try for a new location, doesn't it?"
"What's that you say?
Stab you in the chest?
What?!
And make an end of you so soon?
Nay, lass! Nay!
No way!"
"You possess a veritable plethora of places to penetrate!"
"Pain?
Why you haven't yet begun to know what Pain is or can be!"
"Aha! Let us probe the depths of the intriguing little pit of your navel!"
"Scream, woman! Scream!
The louder your cries - the more musical they are to my ears!"
"Ahhh! Yesss!"
"You know, Honey?"
"Back in the Old Days, there were entire social orders built around the premise of human sacrifice!"
"And Priests slashed open the bosoms of both men and women alike!"
"And quite often they were paying homage to me!"
"I had nothing to do but float around up there in the ether ..."
"While their Religious Leaders offered the hearts and lives ..."
"Of the very best they had to offer!"
"But then ... Times changed ...
As they ever are in the habit of doing!"
"Civilizations fell ...
Pyramids crumbled ...
And what was worse ...
The old Gods and Goddesses fell into disfavor or were forgotten ..."
"And so these days - if I expect anything at all in the way of an acceptable sacrifice ..."
"I must materialize into human form ..."
"And take it myself!"
"And you know something, Honey?"
"Had I known that it was this much fun ...
I would have come down to earth to be in on the action five hundred years ago!"
"Oh, yes!
Had I only known then what I know now!"
"Oh! But I would have covered more ground!"
"So you see, Honey?
You and your kind ..."
"Are helping me make up for lost time!"
"(Cough!)"
"Oh! But I hope that I didn't go too deep on that last stroke!"
"Gently, now! Gently!"
We don't want her to give out ere the Grand Finale!"
"Easy, now! Easy!
We mustn't excite ourselves lest we become overwrought ..."
"Yeee - aaaahhh - aaarrrgggjhh!"
"Ye Gods! Honey! I didn't believe that you yet had in you an arch the likes of this!"
"You must have gotten a Second Wind from somewhere!"
"I'd be willing to wager that Uncle Buck won't be pining away for the loss of his Lady Luna with the likes of you in the fold!"
"Damnation! I'm in danger of breaking my concentration!"
"And now for the Death Stroke!
I don't want to rush things ...
But she cannot possibly hold out much longer!"
"Through the left breast and into her very heart!"
"Into the nipple!
"Damnation again! The angle of the blade is not correct!"
"Fortunately, breast flesh is so soft that any error is easily corrected!"
"And now but for a single deft thrust to the heart!"
Shssss-shunk!
"Gungh!"
"There! Now wasn't that a simple thing after all?"
"Oh! After all this ..."
"Don't you go falling off the altar on me now!"
"The blade is in its proper place ...
But let us give it but a moment longer to complete its work ..."
"There! That was quite a work-out for the both of us, Honey!"
"Yes, Honey! You gave us Full Satsifaction!"
"Now then ... If only I can pull my blade without allowing her head to loll over and off the altar ..."
"It will save the clean-up crew the effort of wiping the floor!"
"Ah! Excellent!"
"Even in death her corpse retains both poise and balance!"
"And so, once again our ceremony is complete ..."
"Hear me, O My Lord and Master, I beseech thee!"
"For I know that to do you honor no sacrifice is too great and never can there be enough of them!"
"Allow me to partake of but a few drops of that which gives us Life ..."
"Umm ... Ahh ... Yes!"
"Truly there is no other taste quite as satisfying - nor a fluid as necessary!"
"And so, Honey ..."
"As I prostrate myself in homage to you ..."
"Know that to you we are all forever grateful ..."
"For without you we could never be and so would cease to exist ..."
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