"I really couldn't say why I attend these contests!"
"Uh-oh! Here comes our grouchy friend, the Bookmaker!"
"And talkin' to himself again - as usual!"
"Huh!" The new-comer observed.
"I see no alternative if I wish to engage in any intelligent conversation!"
"I see that one of the combatants has two swords while her opponent has but one?"
"Perhaps the promoter of the contest is trying to give that Titan a slight edge!"
"An edge?
Oh! Pul-lese!"
"An edge!
Do you get it?"
"Yes ...
Most unfortunately!"
"But tell us Bookmaker, my good fellow!
Why were you so disconsolate when you came in just now?"
"This contest is billed as another Titan Match, is it not?"
"It certainly is!
And a wonderful idea it is too!"
"What makes you say that, my friend?"
"Is it not obvious to you?"
"Yes!
Why we are treated to the sights and sounds of two dead and dying females rather than one!"
"You have stated the difficulty rather precisely, my friend!"
"If you will excuse me?
I see no difficulty in that!"
"The difficulty is that when both women die then we have no winner ..."
"Yes?
So?
Wait!
Look at this display of strength - will you!
My money is on Two-Blades up there!"
"Very good!
I will accept your wager, Sir!"
"I thought that you might!"
"Yes!
But to continue ...
With no clear winner ...
In fact - no winner at all ...
Few of your fellow patrons are inclined to place any wager at all!"
"I see!
That does leave you with a rather sticky wicket, doesn't it?"
"It threatens to leave me with no wicket at all, Sir!"
"Ho!
Two-Blades just took a slice that time!
What say you to that?!
"Pah!
A mere nick!
And I rather like the way she has arranged her hair!"
"Ye Gods!
Here we have a pair of svelte females fighting to the death!
And you would credit her hairdressing ability?"
"I for one, believe that each and every aspect of a woman should be appreciated to its fullest extent!"
And I think that something has jarred loose in the upper reaches of your ..."
"Gentlemen!
Please!
This is getting us nowhere!"
"Where were we supposed to be going?"
"Going?
Now?
Not me!
I want to stay to see who wins this match!"
"Alas!
There is to be no winner!
Look!"
"I see!
Two-Blades has been sliced on the rump!"
"At this rate Single-Sword will slice her to ribbons!"
"Contain yourself!
You are quite apt to hyperventilate!"
"Two-Blades is suffering from over-confidence ..."
"She is suffering from somewhat more than that, my friend!"
"Indeed!
The woman does not appear to enjoy that cut to her nipple to any great extent!"
"I can't imagine that any woman should welcome a sliced teat ..."
"Oh! But I do!"
"But you are not a woman, are you?"
"Do you mean to imply ..?"
"Imply what?
That you'll be a man before your mother?"
"Gentlemen!
For the Love of Pete!
Pay attention!
Two-Blades has just come back to score a very palpable hit!"
"That belly wound will give her pause!"
"Paws?
How?
In what way?
She is no feline!"
"The Bookmaker meant 'pause' as in something to stop and consider for a moment, I'm sure!"
"Oh! Well ...
If that be the case, why didn't he just say so?"
"She certainly has something to 'consider' in the form of that belly-wound, doesn't she!"
"By Jove!
I believe I've got it!
"Got what, my good fellow?"
"The answer to your problem, Bookmaker!"
"You do?
Ye Gods, Man!
Don't just sit there!
Spit it out!"
"Single-Blade is still on her feet and fighting in spite of the severity of her wound!"
"These Amazons never die easily!"
"No, indeed!
And Amazon Titans are the hardiest of a hardy lot!"
"Two-Blades has the advantage now for certain!"
"Agreed!
Single-Sword is now all but crippled with that latest cut to her thigh!"
"And now she is about to be maimed further with a thrust to her side!"
"The 'Answer' - Gentlemen! Please!"
"For my part I fully expect Single-Sword to go down as a result of this latest wound!"
"No!
Not that!
The answer to my dilemna!
You said that you had it!"
"Two-Blades could now finish off Single-Sword virtually at will!"
"Perhaps!
I may be in the minority, but I believe that Single-Sword has it within her to launch one last attack!"
"Two-Blades must have heard us!
She's moving in for the Kill!"
"I only hope that she does not advance too quickly!"
"There!
Now!
What did I tell you?!"
"Single-Sword has just given full measure to Two-Blades!"
"A thrust almost directly between the breasts!"
"I can but scarcely credit my own eyes!"
"And that is no mere flesh wound this time!"
"Watch now!
When Single-Sword pulls her blade, her victim will go down!"
"Hers will be a most honorable death!"
"What makes you say that?"
"To my way of thinking, a blade through the bosom is the most honorable way any female can die!"
"And you suspect that the death of Single-Sword is in some way less 'honorable'
because she suffered from and so is dying of wounds to her belly?
I beg to disagree!"
"See the way Single-Sword lies thrashing around!"
"Am I blind?
Of course I see her!
A writhing woman is fully half the show!"
"But note if you will, the majestic pose of the warrior Two-Blades, who has been thrust through the chest!"
"Your preference is duly noted!
But I still maintain that ..."
"But see here, Gentlemen!
We have before us once again two dead or dying females!
The merits of the wounds leading to the demise of each can be argued without end!
But now you Gentlemen see the full extent of my predicament!
Again!
We have no winner!"
"Hmmm!
Yes!
We said we'd work on that one, didn't we?"
"Indeed!
You went so far as to say that you 'had it' at one point!"
"Ah!
Yes!
We did!
Didn't we?"
"And so?
Something has occured to you?"
"Bookmaker - in a Titan Match no wager should be placed upon who the Winner shall be ...
For we see here that for the fourth time - there is no 'winner' in any normal sense of the word ...
So ...
The wager that should be placed is the Attitude That Each of the Dead Warriors Will Strike as She Lies in Death!"
"Heads or Tails?
Face-up or Face-down!"
"Brilliant!"
"Thank you, Sir!?
I rather thought so myself!"
"But then ...!"
"What of those killings that are no contest at all?"
"What do you mean?"
"A sacrificial ritual or a bound victim!
How does one wager when the outcome is assured?"
"Hmm! That does pose a problem, doesn't it!
In that case, one would not place a bet on the winner ...
But upon the number of arrows to bring her down ...
Or strokes of the knife it will take to kill her ..."
